


Gingerbread Houses

by prismsakura



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Food, Intrulogical, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, fake dating au, kidnapping mention, mentions of being eaten, murder mention, nsfw mention, pining moceit, queerplatonic prinxiety - Freeform, romantic intrulogical, well i mean they only appear in the first chap and then they're gone but might as well yknow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21954343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prismsakura/pseuds/prismsakura
Summary: When Logan is in need of a fake date in order to hold up a lie to appease his parents, he finds his only option is Remus Reule, with whom he's not too close with. However, spending a week with the fellow proves to be quite an interesting experience, and Logan sees something develop. Something he could never, ever have seen coming.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 22
Kudos: 227





	1. A Night of Decision

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: sympathetic remus and deceit (his name is Nathaniel here), pressure, mentions of murder, decapitation, and gutting
> 
> ~
> 
> Here it is! My second fic for @sanderssidescelebrations‘ TS holiday month! Finished just before the last day of Christmas (in America). As such, this whole thing is pretty much raw and… unpolished. Sorry about that. Hopefully y’all find it decent lmao

“Oh yes, how _could_ we have seen that one coming?” Nathaniel drawled sarcastically, lounging on the couch and exasperatedly watching Logan pace across the living room. “It’s not like your mom, who birthed a brainy powerhouse, also has a strong memory of her own, as she has demonstrated many times before.” 

“Come on, Nath, give Logan a break,” Patton urged in a kind but firm tone. “It was a simple mistake.”

“A simple mistake I should not have overlooked!” Logan hissed desperately. 

“See? He agrees anyway,” Nathaniel said, shrugging. 

Patton sighed. 

“Well, what are you going to do?” Virgil asked, zir feet draped across Roman’s legs. “You just gonna tell your parents you lied?”

Logan paled. “Oh, definitely not,” he said. “They hate it when I lie.”

“So then what, Single Bell?” Roman inquired, clearly entertained by Logan’s befuddled state. “Perhaps say you broke up with your mysterious lover. Holds up the lie while eradicating it completely at the same time.” 

“No, just tell them you accidentally _murdered_ your boyfriend!” Remus suggested gleefully. “And then make up a sob story as to why exactly you did it, along with a graphic description of how! I suggest gutting and decapitation.” 

“But what if they find out you lied in the future?” Virgil asked, ignoring Remus completely. “You eradicate their trust that way.”

“They are… rather sensitive souls.” Logan grimaced. “There isn’t much I can do about this situation, is there?” 

“How about feeding the lie?” Nathaniel proposed. 

All heads in the room turned to him. 

“What do you mean?” Patton asked. 

“Bring someone along for the stay, tell your parents he’s your boyfriend,” Nathaniel elaborated. “And then say you broke up after, so you don’t have to keep up the act. Easy peasy.”

“You’re just stealing a very popular fanfic trope,” Virgil pointed out. “I believe that’s called a ‘Fake Dating AU’, wherein the two characters in a fake relationship almost always fall in love by the end. If you’re looking to avoid that, I don’t think that would be the best way to go.” 

“Ah, but that’s in the fanfic world, dear Vee,” Nathaniel countered. “We– wipe that scowl off your face Roman, it’s just a simple nickname– We are not in a fanfiction, as far as I’m aware. And I think you’re forgetting that Logan here is a master at not feeling extreme emotions. Who says it won’t turn out differently? We’re just employing the tactic, not the plot.” 

“That is a good point,” Patton agreed. “What do you think, Lo?”

“That could be a solution,” Logan mused. “But… are any of you available?”

Silence fell upon the room… for about a second before it was quickly broken by Remus.

“Ro-ro and Virgey-poo are busy platonically smooshing booties, Patton’s family are kidnapping him so they can go to the Philippines to talk with unfamiliar and uncomfortably prying relatives, and your mom loves eye-murdering Nathaniel, so I’d say most of us are unavailable.”

Logan stared at Remus for a while, carefully putting together the information. “So.. all are unavailable… except for you.” 

Virgil coughed into zir sleeve several times. Patton’s eyes widened. Roman looked genuinely panicked. Nathaniel merely smirked. 

Logan considered his option. Truth to be told, although Logan has hung out with everyone a decent amount of times, he’d say Remus was the one he was least close with. Remus was… endearing in a certain way, although Logan couldn’t really pinpoint why. The guy was honest, observant and had a very expanse knowledge of murder techniques, but that’s about all Logan knew about him. 

“I’m a little worried you might… unnerve my parents,” Logan admitted. “Er, no offense but, your interests are very… disturbing to most.”

“Not to Jeffrey Dahmer they wouldn’t be.”

Logan sighed quietly. Was Remus really his only option?

“Aww, pwease Newdy Wowvewine?” Remus cooed, pouting and trying to make puppy eyes. “I pwomise I’ww be a vewy good boy in fwont of youw mommy! And even behind the doow! And on youw be-”

“Okay, you definitely cannot take him with you with that kind of behavior,” Roman protested. “Just tell your parents the truth, Single Bell Twunk!” 

“You just made the same joke as Single Bell,” Virgil said. 

“It was a variation! Logan, you are a very dear friend to me, and I will not see your dignity and reputation spoiled by my rabid gremlin of a brother!”

“Don’t listen to him, Tech Weenie!” Remus scoffed, casually raising his foot to behind his head. “I sincerely, candidly, earnestly, unequivocally– you like that last word? It’s a big word, turns you on doesn’t it– promise to pretend to be your boyfriend for your one week visit to your parents, in an appropriate manner, so their hearts will not be torn to shreds. Rip my heart out, cross it, and-” he giggled, “-swear to die.” 

On that note, Logan needed a fake date to please his mother, and he supposed this would be a good opportunity for some bonding with Remus Reule. 

* * *

Nathaniel sipped some sparkling wine begrudgingly, as the others did not want him to get drunk the night before he drove Patton to the airport. He still drank it out of a wine glass though, because that’s exactly the kind of bitch he was. Nathaniel listened to the clinking of the kitchenware and the stream of water from the faucet as Patton washed the last of the dishes. Everyone else had headed off to their respective rooms, except for Roman, who stayed with Virgil. 

“Is it really a good idea?” Nathaniel heard Patton mumble from the kitchen. 

“What is?” 

Nathaniel saw Patton flinch a little, as if the latter wasn’t expecting someone to actually hear him. 

“Er, the plan with… Logan and… Remus…” Patton trailed off. 

Nathaniel hummed and took another sip of his drink. He savored the fizziness before swallowing, then went on to swirl the sparkling wine for fun. No, he totally wasn’t trying to buy more time so he could continue to stay in the room with Patton. That would be ridiculous. 

What was Patton concerned about again? Oh, right. 

“Logan can handle Remus alone for a week,” Nathaniel reassured. “Have you seen the man? Hardly anything disturbs him. He could find a corpse and go, ‘Oh someone was murdered here. That is normal. Better call the cops and assess the body for research. Bleep bloop.’” 

“Naaaaath, that’s not nice,” Patton berated, though Nathaniel could hear a smile in his voice. 

“I’m just saying, if anyone can stay with Remus for a week with no other company but their parents and not go crazy, that person would be Logan,” Nathaniel said.

“Although…” he continued, “I’m a little curious to see if there will be a sort of… romantic outcome, in the end. It is certainly a possibility.”

Both of the persons in the room knew the implications of what Nathaniel was talking about, but none bothered to voice the shared knowledge.

“If there is… it’ll be quite surprising,” Patton chuckled breathily. 

Nathaniel raised the glass to his lips only to find it empty, not to his dismay at all. He sighed and brought it over to Patton, who proceeded to wash it as well. Small “goodnight”s were exchanged between the two, and Nathaniel headed off to turn in.

“Oh boy,” Patton said to himself as he heard Nathaniel’s door close, “Logan’s gonna have an interesting week.”


	2. The Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: sympathetic remus, nsfw mentions, caps

The car pulled into the driveway, the sound of crunching following it. Logan ignored a comment from Remus (“The tires are _grinding_ into the ground!”) as he concentrated on not hitting anything. 

“You know,” Remus mused, twirling his moustache, “rockets are already very phallic-looking.” 

“mhm.” Logan looked into the side mirror to make sure he wasn’t going to run over any of his mother’s flowerpots. 

“So what if there was a _dildo_ shaped like it? It’ll even have its own launchpad, and when you activate it it’ll shoot up your-“

SLAM! 

Remus and Logan froze as the car reversed in full speed, then screeched to a halt, causing them to lurch forward. 

"A little excited, aren’t we?” Remus turned to grin at his companion, only to find Logan’s forehead perched on the wheel, both his hands gripping it. “Uh oh– Logan???”

That’s when Remus noticed Logan’s shoulders shaking, and small noises coming out of his mouth. It took Remus a while to realize, to his surprise, that Logan was suppressing giggles.

“Are you broken, dork?” Remus whispered.

Logan straightened with a small snort, then tried his best to wipe the smile off his face. “Apologies, it’s just–” Another giggle out of his mouth, which he covered with his hand. “Your idea, it got me there, I have no idea why– oh my god.”

In a flash, the laughter was gone, and so was Logan, who had rushed out of the car in the drop of a hat.

Remus blinked, trying to process what had just happened. “Geez, does he like to do everything so fast?” he wondered with a smirk, removing his seatbelt. “I think I like that.”

Outside the car, Logan was inspecting the rear, which had bumped into the flowerpots. There was not much damage; only one pot had been cracked. The rest were just knocked over by other pots, or tilted. Nonetheless, Logan didn’t think his mother would fly into a rage if she saw the state of the flowers, just exasperated. 

“Wow,” Remus whistled, “you didn’t have to get that excited over my concept of a rocket dildo, Logie. Turned on much?" 

"Don’t be ridiculous,” Logan simply said, turning to re-enter the car. “I was just caught off-guard.”

“But I was making jokes like that the whole trip!” Remus reminded him.

“You were asleep for half the ride.”

“I was making jokes like that the whole time I was conscious!" 

Logan advanced the car a bit, making sure to keep a distance from the flowers. Afterwards, he turned off the ignition, grabbed the luggage (with Remus helping), and started towards the house. 

"Come on, Remus,” Logan called. “It’s about time you met my parents.”

Remus squealed and ran towards Logan with his baggage-filled hands in the air. 

Then he tripped and face-planted into the ground. 

Logan found a smile creeping onto his face. He replaced it with a sigh and an eye-roll. Hopefully Remus could control himself around Logan’s parents, unlike in the car. 

The weird thing was, Logan didn’t really seem to mind Remus’ gruesome and lewd thoughts. On the contrary, he even found some of them to be quite amusing. Not in the “haha dicks” or “haha murder” kind of way, but rather in the way one would be amused by a child’s nonsensical ramblings. It was… cute. 

_Cute?_

“Alright, Logan, I’m here and at your service!”

Remus was already beside Logan, who had just realized he had been staring at the door for a while. Logan turned to his “boyfriend” (oh, that’s right, Remus was going to pretend to be his significant other), who was grinning, every inch of his face filled with excitement. 

“You called me ‘Logan’,” the respective person realized.

“Yeah? Whudaboutit?" 

"You mostly call me by a teasing, rather ridiculous nickname,” Logan said.

“Oh, well, I figured those nicknames weren’t going to be pleasurable to your folks, so I figured I’d call you by your real name, warm up a little.” Remus’ arms swung back and forth. “That’s smart, isn’t it Lo-lo?”

Logan felt the half-smile on his face once again, but didn’t really bother to hide it this time. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

Remus’ grin suddenly shrank into a small smile as he glanced down at their hands. 

“Should we? We are supposed to be rubbing holes, after all.” 

“Are you ever going to use the term ‘dating’?” Logan asked. 

“Oh, should I not do that either? Okay!”

Logan smirked and slowly took Remus’ hand in his. “Well, shall we?”

Logan saw a tint of red covering Remus’ face as the latter stared up at him, but assumed it was from the cold. “You bet your sweet ass ass we shall, new boyfriend!” Remus exclaimed. 

The two walked to the front of the door, ready for a week of pretend. Logan pressed the doorbell, and the ringing tune that sounded throughout the house suddenly seemed to ground him. 

He was there. At his parents’ house. With Remus, his boyfriend.

_Boyfriend._

_Boyfriend._

_Boyfriend._

_Boyfrie-_

The door creaked open.

“LOGAN!”

Oh boy. 

“Hi ma,” Logan greeted with a small smile. 

“Oh, hello my dear, I’ve missed ya!” Maya Anderson cried, wrapping her arms around Logan. “Welcome home! Oh, I hope your journey wasn’t too tirin’, was it?”

“No, ma, we’re fine,” Logan reassured her. 

Mrs. Anderson detached herself and smiled, cupping her hand to Logan’s cheek. “Well, I am sure relieved. And this…” 

She grinned as she turned her head to Remus, who, Logan realized, had straightened his back and was smiling kindly, as if trying to look presentable. The aura around him had shifted considerably, although, Logan remembered, Remus was related Roman, so he probably picked up some acting skills from his brother. 

“This must be your boyfriend!” Mrs. Anderson squeed as she moved closer to Remus to inspect him. 

“Pleasure to meet you!” Remus said. “I’m Remus!”

Maya giggled. “Hello Remus! My, what a funny voice ya have! And Logan, I didn’t know ya had a thing for facial hair.” 

She patted Remus’ cheek before turning to head back into the house. “Come now, sugar, come in! There’s some afternoon snacks waitin’ for the two of ya, we better eat them before they get cold.” 

Mrs. Anderson walked into the house, calling, “Miiiitch! Lo-lo and his boyfriend Remus are here!!!”

A muffled, deeper voice seemed to respond from deep inside the home. 

Logan and Remus followed Mrs. Anderson into the house. She led them to the living room, where a cream-colored couch and a recliner surrounded a wooden coffee table, all in front of a television screen attached to the wall. Several paintings and pictures decorated walls and shelves. Various DVDs, board games and books were arranged on a standalone shelf located under the TV, beside more pictures. 

“Take a seat, why don’tcha?” Mrs. Anderson invited the two. “Let me bring your bags to your room, and I’ll get the snacks and tea. Mitch will be comin’ down in a hot minute.” 

Maya hummed as she made her way to the other room, presumably the kitchen. Remus made himself comfortable on the couch, flopping down onto it and rubbing his body all over. 

“At least make some space for me, Remus,” Logan said, sitting down on the far end. 

“Ughhhh, I’ve barely done anything and I’m already so tired,” Remus complained, kicking Logan’s legs, which Logan hardly appreciated. “How do you stay so stoic and boring all of the time? How???” 

“You don’t have to act so formal,” Logan said. “You can be as energetic as you wish, as long as you don’t act barbaric.”

“Your definition of ‘barbaric’ is much tamer than what it actually means, Hulk Hoe-gan,” Remus huffed. “Making jokes about dildos isn’t as horrifying as–gasp–” Remus straightened up, putting a hand over his mouth and widening his eyes in a comical fashion, which was admittedly quite funny to Logan, “murdering someone!” 

“But you joke about that too,” Logan reminded. “And it doesn’t matter which is more disturbing, the fact remains that my parents wouldn’t find it favorable if they thought I was dating someone who thought about rocket-shaped dildos and gruesome killings on the daily.”

“Not on the _daily_!” Remus corrected, feigning offense. “I only thought of that rocket dildo today! To make you laugh!” 

“Me, specifically?” Logan asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“I mean, you’re the only one in the car with me, so you’re automatically my audience!” Remus stuttered a bit, seemingly trying to get his rapid thoughts in order. 

"That is true,” Logan said. “But, please try to keep up the effort? You don’t have to hide your energetic self, just refrain from speaking of things that will perturb any normal person.”

Remus flinched a little, but quickly recovered. “At least… some _light_ jokes?“ he pleaded.

Logan thought about it for a moment. "Alright, as long as it’s nothing _extreme_." 

"Yay! Thank you, Daddy-o!” Remus exclaimed.

“No-”

“Did I hear someone say 'Daddy’?" 

Mitch Anderson stood in the doorway, staring down at the two on the couch with a smile. "I hope you kids aren’t getting too naughty, what with the lack of adult supervision.” 

“Pa _please_ ,” Logan grumbled. 

Mr. Anderson chuckled and ruffled Logan’s hair. “Don’t get so riled up now Logan, y’know I’m just messin’ with you.”

“Hi Mr. Anderson!” Remus greeted. 

“Hiya,” Mr. Anderson said. “You must be Logan’s boyfriend!” 

“Yep,” Remus said, nodding vigorously, “I’m Remus!” 

“Pleasure to meet you,” Mr. Anderson said, taking a seat on the recliner. “Have y’all been doin’ okay?”

“Yes, we’ve been doing quite fine,” Logan affirmed. 

“Gotten into any fights?” Mr. Anderson asked with a grin. 

Logan sighed. “Why must you inquire me that every time?” 

“Why, is it wrong for a father to wonder if his son had stirred up any trouble?” Mr. Anderson took the remote from the coffee table and turned on the television. “It’s interesting!”

“Mitch, don’t pressure your son like that, now,” Mrs. Anderson berated her husband, entering the room with a plate of cookies and setting it down on the table. 

“Logie has been in a fight once!” Remus said, suddenly straightening himself. 

“With whom?” Mrs. Anderson asked, curiosity—and perhaps worriement—flooding her eyes. 

Logan shrugged awkwardly. “Er, it’s been a while, I can’t remember.”

“It was Cthulu!” Remus blurted. “He insulted my mustache so Logan here punched the daylights out of his face!”

Logan flinched, quickly turning his head to look at his parents’ reactions. They simply blinked. 

“O-Oh! It was merely a joke!” Mrs. Anderson chuckled rather nervously. “What a funny man ya are, Remus.”

“Though, it would have been impressive if Logan here was able to take down such a monster,” Mr. Anderson jested. 

Logan smiled apprehensively, and turned to Remus, who was grinning widely despite the lukewarm response. 

“I’ll get the tea now,” Mrs. Anderson said, turning to leave the room again. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.” 

“Well,” Mr. Anderson said, “anythin’ else you boys want to tell me about?”

“There sure are!” Remus said cheerfully. 

Logan took a cookie and allowed himself to fully relax into the couch, thankful for the shift in atmosphere. Maybe this week won’t be so stressful after all.


	3. The Bedroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: sympathetic remus, mentions of pests, nsfw mention, cursing

“I figured that seein’ as the two of ya are a couple, I hope y’all don’t mind if y’all share a room, don’t ya?”

Logan and Remus stared into the former’s bedroom as Maya Anderson switched on the lights. It was _not_ how Logan had left it—although, considering it was no longer the disgusting mess it was previously, Logan didn’t mind it at all. He was more grateful, as having a clutter in his room would have surely attracted rats or cockroaches, which would have made it rather hard to sleep here for several days. The books were on the shelves, and the ones who couldn’t fit were tucked away in the compartments underneath the desk, along with some binders and notebooks. Writing and art materials were stored in different containers located on the outskirts of the desk, a lamp accompanying them. 

“I cleaned up your room a lil, Logan,” Mrs. Anderson said. “I hope ya aren’t upset, but this place was… honestly, a pigsty when ya left.”

“It’s okay, Ma,” Logan reassured, a small smile on his face as he turned to look at her. “I think we’ll be fine here.” 

“Okie dokie!” Mrs. Anderson said. “Ya two boys get comfy, dinner will be ready in a few hours! In the meantime, do whatever ya want!” 

“Thanks Ma,” Logan said. 

“We’ll keep it down, don’t worry,” Remus added. 

Logan noticed his mother’s smile as she left seemed a bit more forced than usual, and a small, yet noticeable, weight settled on his chest. 

The pretend-couple walked into the room. Remus immediately began exploring while Logan started unpacking the bags. 

“I didn’t know you were such an artist, Long-Man!” Remus said, picking up a sketchbook and flipping it open. “Woah, these are pretty good sketches of naked men!”

“Those were anatomy studies,” Logan said calmly, though he flushed a little. “I did have some interest in art even as a child, but after I moved away and entered college, I had less time to indulge in it, unfortunately. I am trying to practice more, though.”

“Why didn’t you take any art classes?” Remus asked, cocking his head sideways, reminding Logan of those puppies in a video Patton had once shown him. 

“The college I went to offered some, but you had to pay for it. It was out of my budget,” Logan replied, shrugging. 

“Too bad.” Remus pouted, flipping through more pages. “You really seemed to like drawing naked men.” 

“I drew other things,” Logan protested, face still flushed. 

“Aside from the occasional landscape sketches, your sketchbook suggests otherwise.”

“Why don’t you help me with this?”

Remus shrugged, nonchalantly flicking the sketchbook close. “Okay, you’re the dom in this relationship anyway.” 

“I–nevermind.” 

Remus walked towards the closet and opened it, squealing upon seeing what was in it. 

“Dork! I didn’t know you had so many onesies!” Remus exclaimed, holding up one of a flying squirrel.

If Logan’s face was red before, now it was as if all the trillions of blood cells in his body had collected into his face. “I asked you to assist me with putting away our essentials, not to indulge yourself in my past interests,” he hissed. 

“Aww, there’s no need to be all embarassed, Logie-poo,” Remus teased, “everyone’s had a onesie phase at some point of their lives. You’re not special!”

“Is that supposed to comfort me?” Logan asked dryly.

“I mean… yeah!” Remus replied. 

Logan sighed, trying to calm himself down. “Put away the squirrel onesie, please, and help me with the toiletries.”

Remus, thank god for the sliver of mercy in him, did as he was told and hung up the onesie. He closed the door, whispering, “I’ll come back for you soon,” and skipped over to the bed, where several articles of clothing were already laid out in neat piles. Remus blew a raspberry. 

“ _Please_ don’t get spit all over our clothes,” Logan begged.

“Do we have to fold them?” Remus whined, picking up a plain black polo shirt that undoubtedly belonged to Logan.

“If you don’t want them to be crumpled, then yes,” Logan said.

“Why can’t they be crumpled? It’s not like I’m commiting one of the seven deadly sins,” Remus asked, shaking the polo shirt. 

Logan stared at Remus. “You’re not, but it makes you look less neat, I believe.”

“Ehhh, total horse shit.” Remus continued shaking the shirt. “Just because something is smooth and clean doesn’t mean it looks pretty.”

“Maybe so,” Logan began, “but perhaps people tend to focus more on the implications that, for example, the person wearing the shirt actually puts in effort to keep their things and even themselves tidy and presentable, instead of lazy.”

“ _Tidy and presentable_ ,” Remus repeated mockingly. “What’s wrong with a lil chaos, huh? All these expectations take too much work to reach. Why can’t we all be wild magic gremlins?”

“Hm, good point.” A small chuckle escaped Logan. “You are quite fun to debate with, Remus.” 

It was a bit of a surprise to Logan, if he were to be honest. He didn’t expect Remus to have quite astute observations and opinions with quite good points (maybe ignoring the suggestion of magic gremlins). 

“Of course I’m fun to debate with!” Remus said after, Logan just realized, an uncharacteristic while. “I’m fun to do anything with! Anything you do with or to me will be enjoyable~”

“Please stop shaking my polo shirt,” Logan said. “Even if you have a good point about how having smooth clothes are a rather absurd way to judge one’s character, my mother will still fret over it if she sees me wear crumpled attire, and I would prefer to avoid that.”

“Oh, alright Lo-gie,” Remus conceded, easily folding up the shirt in two moves. He saw Logan staring at him in mild shock and grinned widely. “Oh, you like my trick? My mom taught it to me. I have _very_ nimble and delicate fingers.”

Remus wiggled his fingers and eyebrows at Logan with a smirk, as if to prove his point. 

“Yes, I get your point Remus,” Logan said, turning back to the clothes. 

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Remus scooped up the bag of toiletries and ran towards the bathroom. 

“Don’t move so fast, you look like a cartoon character,” Logan said. 

“I’m a horny Roadrunner!” Remus’ muffled, strange and cheerful voice exclaimed from the restroom.


	4. Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: sympathetic remus, mentions of being eaten (by raccoons), mentions of kidnapping, extreme pining  
> ~  
> Dawn of the Third Day

“Logan.”

“Mmmmm,” Logan replied. 

“ _Logan_.”

Logan half-opened an eye. “What time is it, Remus?”

Without his glasses, Remus looked like an incorporeal blob, but Logan could tell he was very excited about something, if the jerky movements were to suggest anything. 

“Oh, it’s like… eight.”

“Hm.” Logan shut his eye again and buried his face into the pillow. He heard a huff of disappointment from Remus. 

“Come on, aren’t you supposed to have your sleeping sched all correct and stuff?” Logan heard Remus complain. “Why are you so tired???” 

“I don’t maintain my sleep schedule all the time,” Logan groaned into his pillow. “Now, if you will kindly let me be, I’ll be going back to sleep.”

“But Logaaaaaaan,” Remus whispered urgently, “it’s snowing.”

Once again, Logan slowly turned his head to look at Remus. “What do you expect me to do about it?”

“Let’s look at it!” Remus said, starting to tug on Logan’s sleeves. “I wanna eat some of the snow!” 

“Then go,” Logan mumbled. “Just put on proper attire or you’ll catch a cold.”

“But I want you to coooooomeee,” Remus whined. 

Logan begrudgingly turned to look at the half-naked gremlin staring him in the face. “Why?” 

“I—come on Nerdy Wolverine!” Remus plopped onto the floor and wriggled around in what seemed to be a tantrum. “I don’t wanna go out alone! What if the raccoons eat me? Or someone kidnaps me?” 

“You’re perfectly capable of defending yourself, I’ve seen you handle a possum as if it were a cat.” 

“That’s only because I thought it _was_ a cat,” Remus argued. 

“You’ve defended me and several others from harmful people before.”

“I didn’t do much-”

“You bit them. Many times.”

“Well-”

“And kicking them in the balls is always a favorite move of yours.”

“It’s not like I killed them,” Remus concluded, a victorious grin on his face as if he had made a great statement that Logan couldn’t possibly negate. 

“And you’re expecting me too?” Logan negated. “So that you could eat snow?” 

Remus blinked, his grin unwavering. 

“Don’t have an answer for that?” Logan smirked sleepily. 

Remus stayed silent for a while, though his face became a tad redder. Logan didn’t think much of it, thinking it was probably because Remus was shirtless despite the rather low temperature.

“Mmk,” Logan said, turning over. “Enjoy the snow, I’ll be going back to sleep.” 

Logan heard a loud scuffling of feet before seeing Remus fly onto the bed beside him, face-first. He wiggled around to turn to Logan. 

“Pleeeaaaaaseee?” Remus pouted and projected puppy eyes once again. “I don’t wanna be looooooneeeeelyyyyyy." 

Logan shut his eyes. "Let me sleep, Remus." 

"Loooooooooooooooo.”

A groan.

Then, Logan finally sat up. “ _Alright,_ I suppose I could accompany you for a bit.” He yawned, rubbing his eyes. “As long as I can go back to sleep after.”

“Yaaaaaaayyyyy!!!” Remus cheered, shooting out of the bed. 

“Don’t shout, you’ll wake my parents.”

Remus giggled and booped Logan on the nose. “Okay. Come on, Hugh Jacked-man!”

Remus ran out of the room. 

Logan’s half-asleep brain tried to process everything that had just happened, especially the boop on the nose. That took way longer for some reason. Once he realized it, however, a strange feeling had built up in his chest.

“ _No_ ,” Logan mumbled, ~~very~~ not at all panicked, and tried to push it down. “Not today.”

He buried his face in his hands and, unable to do much else, screamed rather mutely.

~

“There you are!” Remus grinned at Logan, who had just stepped outside. He now donned boots, and a sweater was worn over his onesie. Another sweater was draped over his arm. 

“I see you’re already engaged,” Logan remarked, amused. 

Remus rolled around in the little snow on the ground, clearly reveling in the experience. 

“There’s hardly any snow on the ground,” Logan noted, only just remembering that the South did not get as much snow as where he’s been living for the last few years. “You’re just covering yourself in mud.”

“It’s still fun!” Remus said. “And the ground is frozen anyway, so I’m not getting too dirty!” 

“Put on a sweater first, we must reduce the chances of getting some form of disease,” Logan sighed, holding out the sweater. 

Remus got up, snatched the sweater from Logan’s hands and quickly put it on. “Ooh, it’s very soft,” he gushed. “Like a baby butt! Thanks, boyfriend!” 

Remus ran back out into the yard and continued running around, trying to catch the sparse amount of snowflakes falling from the sky. 

Logan sighed and took a seat on the front porch. He was used to the sight of snow, having lived in the higher parts of the country for a while. But he had not seen this much snow in his hometown in a long time. While it was just a thin layer on the ground, Logan still felt a kind of comforting feeling, like he was witnessing something not seen everyday. Though, of course, with Remus there, it was to be expected. 

Speaking of which, Remus was now scooping up a mix of snow and dirt and attempting to make some sort of mutilated snowman. 

“Logan! Help me!” Remus invited. 

“I’m… still a little sleepy,” Logan said, waving a hand. 

“Well okay, just leave me to make a snow zombie all by myself.”

_Snow zombie_. What a ridiculous concept. So _why_ , in this unreal expanse of a galaxy, did Logan find it so adorable?

It was completely irrational, Logan knew. Oh, he _knew_. Remus would _neve_ r, in a million universes, be considered “adorable”. Yet Logan saw him that way. As well as fun, and quite intelligent, and… _ughhh_. 

Logan heard the door creak open, snapping him out of his thoughts—thank _god_ —and a familiar voice said, “Well, I see ya boys are havin’ fun!” 

Maya Anderson was smiling at the couple outside. She was bundled up considerably more than either Logan or Remus. “I’m makin’ breakfast right now, so be sure to come inside in a few.”

“Alright, Ma,” Logan said. 

Mrs. Anderson smiled and went back inside. Logan sighed again. 

“Well,” he said, “There goes my extra sleep.” 

“Sorry Logan!” Remus called, having heard him. “Maybe you can sleep in the snow, it’s comfy!” 

“I’d… rather not, but thank you Remus.” 

Remus grinned and did another somersault. “If you say so!” 


	5. Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: sympathetic remus, kissing, food, cursing  
> ~  
> Dawn of the Fourth Day

“Ooh, is that bacon I smell?” Remus asked excitedly as he stepped into the dining room, fresh out of the bath. 

“What sharp senses ya have, Remus,” Mrs. Anderson beamed. “You’re right, I made some bacon for breakfast, as well as eggs, and pancakes!” 

“Yummy!” 

Remus hopped over to the empty seat besides Logan, who had exactly one of each food on his plate and was already digging in.

“Geez, one pancake, one bacon and one egg?” Remus scoffed, scooping up several pieces of pancakes. “You wanna starve yourself?” 

“I don’t want to risk stuffing myself too much,” Logan said, breaking the yolk. 

Remus shrugged. “Alright, suit yourself. But don’t complain when you’re still hungry and you find I’ve eaten everything!”

Mr. Anderson walked into the room, stretching and yawning. “G’morning!” he greeted, leaning on the door frame, which would normally be a cool pose if not for the fact that he was clearly still sleepy and trying to get a few extra winks. 

“ _Mitch_ , be decent why don’t ya?” Maya scolded, walking over to her husband and pulling him into an upward position. 

“How ‘bout a kiss first?” Mr. Anderson teased. “Maybe it’ll gimme some energy.”

Mrs. Anderson sighed, though a smile was on her face. Strangely, she looked up. “Well, I guess I have no choice anyway.” 

Logan glanced to where his mother was looking and saw a mistletoe. At that moment, two words, and _only_ two words, flashed through his mind.

_Oh._

_Shit._

Mrs. Anderson kissed her husband, then turned to grin cheekily at the couple. 

“I—er, when-” Logan stuttered. 

“Oh, y’all will get a chance later,” Maya assured. “Just finish your food first!” 

Logan looked at Remus, who was busy shoveling his mouth with food. Logan wondered if the intense speed that he was intaking the pancakes was because of the mistletoe, or if it was because Remus was just like that. 

_Maybe… she will forge_ t, thought Logan, although deep down he knew that it was unlikely. _Perhaps we won’t have to do it. If one of us leaves first, and not at the same time, will that increase the chances of us evading the…?_

The complex train of thought was merely just a distraction from the _real feelings_ Logan was experiencing. And why wouldn’t he try to shove them down deep into the dark abyss of his soul? Real feelings were, of course, unacceptable. Preposterous. Abominations.

But of course, the thing about _real feelings_ is that, you cannot simply get rid of them, like how you cannot get rid of atoms. They simply are, and that was frustrating to Logan, who was now thinking that maybe shoving his face into some eggs wasn’t such a bad idea. 

* * *

“Are you done?” 

Logan looked up from his empty plate. “Uh…”

How he wished he could say he wasn’t, that he was still hungry and reaching for another slice of bacon. However, Logan was very much full, and the food was all finished. And, to his… whatever emotion he was feeling (somewhere between dismay and… relief? What was this???), Remus was still there, staring blankly at his plate, being uncharacteristically quiet. He fiddled with his fingers, the hems of his shirt, and was bouncing his leg. 

“So…” Mrs. Anderson said, gesturing to the doorway, “Don’t y’all wanna try?” 

“Do you?” Logan whispered to Remus. He noticed that he, too, was fidgeting, fingering the edge of the tablecloth. 

“…do _you_?” Remus whispered back. 

Logan stayed silent for a minute. He analyzed his feelings, something he rarely did. Most of the time they would just be ignored. But this time… was different. Did he want to kiss Remus, even if it was to keep up an act? It shouldn’t be this big of a deal, right? Well, right now, it felt like it was. Why? Did Logan feel anything for Remus that was out of the ordinary?

 _Yes_ , Logan realized. _Yes, I do_. 

Well, fuck. That settles it then.

Logan gave a small, tentative nod. “If you want to,” he said.

It may have been a trick of the light, but Logan could have sworn Remus’ eyes lit up at those words. A small smile appeared on his face.

“Alright, Mrs. Anderson!” Remus declared, standing up. “We’ll take you up on your offer, why not?” 

“Great!” Mrs. Anderson cheered. “I’ll get the camera, this’ll be a great memory!”

Logan wasn’t surprised. Of course his mother would document this. She documents everything. 

They made their way over to the door frame, where the mistletoe hung. The plastic berries looked shiny, as they were made of plastic and reflecting the light from the sun gleaming through the window. 

“Mistletoes are poisonous, y’know?” Remus suddenly said. “And they’re actually a parasite.” 

Logan smiled, leaning against the frame. “That is correct. However, it could possibly be used to treat cancer.” 

“Ooh,” Remus cooed, poking at the mistletoe. He grinned at Logan. “You’re very smart, Logie.” 

“It’s simply random knowledge, nothing too impressive,” Logan dismissed, although he could feel his cheeks burning a little. 

“Alright, I got it!” Mrs. Anderson called gleefully. “Now, ya two just pose and do whatever you want!” 

“We… don’t have to kiss?” Logan asked, not noticing Remus deflating a little. 

“Well it’s _encouraged_ ,” Maya said. “But I won’t force y’all.” 

“Logan?”

The man in question looked at Remus. “Yes?”

“You said… it was alright anyways, right?” 

Remus was… shy. His body held apprehension, which it rarely did. He didn’t make eye contact. Logan was rather taken aback at this.

“I did say that,” Logan affirmed. 

Remus up at Logan, and a smile spread across his face, though he was still a little tense. “So… why not?” 

Logan stayed silent for a few moments. He felt some sort of drumming in his head, and realized it was his heartbeat. Since when had it gotten so loud?

“Why not?” Logan mumbled. 

He surged forward and kissed Remus.


	6. A Night of Contemplation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: sympathetic remus, nsfw mention

Logan awoke from his nap to find it was already dark outside. Not a shocking development, as it was winter and the sun was expected to set at around five. His phone indicated it was a quarter to six, and the smell of dinner was enough to coax Logan out of bed. 

Logan walked into the kitchen, where his parents were busy preparing the feast for them and the guests that were soon to arrive. 

“Oh, hello Logan!” Mitch greeted his son. “Might wanna fix that bedhead of yours.” 

“Where’s Remus?” Logan asked, trying to flatten down his hair. From what he remembered, Remus had gone grocery shopping with Mrs. Anderson for dinner. 

“Oh he’s outside,” Maya said. “Probably playing with the snow again, silly boy.” 

Logan nodded, but didn’t really make any move to leave. 

Mrs. Anderson noticed this. “Is there anything you need, Logan?” 

“Do you like Remus, Ma?” Logan blurted out. 

Maya seemed surprised at the question. She mulled over it for a bit while chopping some vegetables.

“Well, I will admit, dear, I don’t quite understand his humor,” she admitted. “And the ones I get, they are a little… crude.”

“Ah,” Logan said.

“But… he does seem fun!” Maya smiled widely. “He’s very energetic, and isn’t afraid to share his thoughts… and ya seem happy around him. I trust ya and your choices, Logan. I raised ya after all.” She chuckled. “But really, I know you’re smart. If you choose him, then I do too.” 

Logan nodded. “Thanks, Ma,” he said, really meaning it.

“Wow, not gonna ask your Pa his opinions on his son’s boyfriend?” Mr. Anderson said jokingly, shaking his head. 

“I’m going to check on Remus now,” Logan said. 

“Go to him, hun,” Mrs. Anderson said. 

Logan smiled, and walked out the door.

* * *

He was expecting Remus to be jumping around, as usual, or maybe making another snow zombie. Logan wasn’t expecting to see Remus simply sitting on the snow, staring at the flowers and the street. 

The snow was a bit thicker than from a few days ago. The streetlights cast a calming orange glow over the scene. Decorative lights were twinkling as they hung from different houses. Logan heard distant singing, probably from one of the neighbors. He hoped they didn’t encounter any carolers tonight. He could not stand them. 

Logan sat down on the ground next to Remus, who he just noticed was balling up some snow he scavenged from the ground. Perhaps he was making a miniature snow zombie. 

“We kissed,” Remus stated, before Logan could speak. 

The latter nodded mutely. 

“I.. I know you probably only did that to keep up the whole fake dating thing,” Remus continued, “But, uh… to be honest, I kinda, legitimately wanted to kiss you?”

Logan stared at Remus. “You did?” he muttered. 

“I mean, I dunno if any of our other friends ratted me out, but judging from your reaction I’m guessin’ they didn’t.” Remus squished the snowball in his hands. “Like, I’ve had a crush on you for a while, so..”

“You _did_?” Logan asked, incredulous. 

Remus cocked an eye at Logan. “Okay, look, I was really expecting you to catch on at some point but you’re acting super surprised right now. Did you not realize? I thought I was being obvious. I mean, everyone else saw right through me-”

“ _All of them_?” Logan was close to hyperventilating. “ _And they didn’t tell me_?” 

“Would you be glad if someone ratted out your crush to… your _crush_?” Remus asked in a dramatic tone. “I would think _not_.”

“Fair enough.” 

Remus shifted uncomfortably. “So, I know you don’t like me in that sense, but I had to get this off my chest first, or else it would become too heavy and crush my ribs,” he said, shrugging. “At least I got to be your kinda-boyfriend for a week! That was fun. Your parents are nice too.” 

“I like you too.” 

Logan didn’t hear himself say that. All sound was blocked out. Time stretched into millenia as his heartbeat thrummed heavily in his head. The tension seemed to press against Logan from all sides. 

“You… do?”

Logan nodded slowly. “To be honest, it didn’t really surface until this week but… well, you’re fun, and astute, and… quite adorable.” His cheeks were burning hard now. “It was perturbing to me but… I couldn’t ignore it any longer.”

A laugh suddenly erupted from Remus. He fell on his back, giggling madly, while Logan simply stared helplessly. 

“Why are you laughing?”

“It’s ridiculous!” Remus howled. “This is hilarious!” 

“What?”

“Never, in a _trillion_ years, did I think this would happen,” Remus chortled. “I think I’m having a euphoric orgasm, oh holy Krampus. This is amazing!” 

“Are you just going to laugh or are you going to actually ask me out?” Logan blurted. 

Remus immediately stopped laughing at that. He widened his eyes at Logan. 

“Ask you out?” he mumbled. “But I thought you were the dom in this relationship?”

“I’m not good at romantic relationships, you know this,” Logan said. 

Remus pouted, seeming to be lost in thought. “In that case, someone has to step up and ask first!” He stood up, plucked a flower from a nearby tree, and grinned down at Logan. 

“Logan Anderson,” Remus began, raising a hand to the night sky. 

“No need for dramatics, Remus,” Logan reassured.

“Nonsense!” Remus scoffed. “Please, let me continue?”

“Sure.”

“Logan Anderson, I have, for the longest time, harbored romantic feelings for you and your hot-ass bod,” Remus proclaimed. 

He lowered his outstretched hand and offered it to his companion, smiling softly at him. “May I, Remus Reule, take you out on one, and maybe several more, very romantic dates that may or may not result in some rocking sex?” 

“We’ll see about the sex part,” Logan deadpanned. “But as for the dating part…”

Logan accepted the hand, pulling himself up. Looking at Remus, who was grinning widely with joy in his eyes, Logan felt the strange feeling once again. 

He didn’t bury it this time though. 

Not today.

“I think I’ll accept your offer.”


End file.
